So I’ve been thinking about this saying, “what people think of me is none of my business.” I first heard this quote by the late Wayne Dyer, one of the biggest thought leaders in America. I really like this quote but it sure is easier said than done at times. But once you think about it, it is so true. And I look back on my life and what people thought of me when I was younger was more important than it is now. I don’t know if I just don’t really care what other’s think of me now or I’m just getting old. The best place to see this in action is at the gym. I show up in my raggy t-shirt with holds in it and my nylon pants that I got at Costco for $15.00. Good image of someone who really doesn’t care about what people think of how I look. I’m no fashion plate. Now there are younger women with their picture-perfect outfit and not an ounce of fat of them (which I am so happy for them, truly, as I know how hard it is to maintain a body like that). I used to be so self-conscious about my body and I really cared what others would thought of my not-so-perfect body. Now I don’t care at all about it and I’m so glad I feel this way.
But thinking about not caring what other people think of us is easy to say, but hard to get there at times, especially with people we care about. But really if truth be told, there is nothing we can do to control how other’s think of us. As the old adage goes, you can’t control what is outside of us, only what is on the inside. Even regulating how we feel about ourselves and others on the inside is not so easy as well. It is a constant battle with our mind and where our thoughts go on an ongoing basis.
I’ve noticed with myself that when I start to think about something that bothers me, there are a few things I do to try and stop the cycle of negativism.
- I distract myself. I will either change my thought pattern or I’ll physically change where I am and do something else. For example, if I’m tossing and turning in bed, and I just can’t talk myself into thinking about something else, I’ll get up. I’ll get a glass of milk and either read or play a few games on my phone. I remove myself for a bit from what is keeping me from being tranquil.
- I change my mind. If I have a thought about say something that is bothering me, I will try and think of a different way of looking at it. Let’s say I didn’t like what someone said to me at the grocery store. Maybe they were rude and harsh. Then I’ll say to myself, maybe they had a rough childhood and they had to be this way to survive. Maybe they don’t feel good and are in a lot of pain. You may think this is being pollyanna about the situation but we can turn anything around to a positive and it isn’t for the other person, it is for me to get in a better head space.
- Do what works for you to calm yourself down. I journal and I have all my life. It works for me. I feel better and more centered once I’ve put it on paper and looked at it in that more concrete way. Some people meditate (which I recommend as well) but I haven’t been such a great meditator in the past. I do things that work for me. You can try many different things such as these two ideas or maybe walking in nature, calling a good friend, going to a movie. There are tons of things you can to do change your perspective to calm yourself.
So next time you start your stinking thinking about what others think of you, time to change your perspective, your thoughts and your vibe.
